Note to self ………. Rest, Regroup and Re-evaluate

 

Sunshine, my love

Whirlwinds tend to get everything and everyone

caught up in one big storm.

Yes, everything and everyone

Soon it dies down

The after effect however can often be seen for miles

Though  some will be unscathed

Others will be left picking up the pieces

This time around: You are apart of the other,

So the question is what will you do now?

Sometimes the easiest yet hardest decision is to run as far and fast as you can

That coupled by the chatter around you cheering you on

However, every night fall, every “love-less” night brings a different twist;

Should I stay or should I go?

The sad reality about whirlwinds, when they come it’s often without much warning. 

The hit fast and swift.

The ruin happy moments and create more turmoil in the midst of sad ones.

Whether good or bad, we can only rest, regroup and rebuild.

Every individual will have to rebuild in the way they see fit

It is never a “one hat fits all” situation

 

Over the past five years, I have realized my relationship and friendships

Have all experienced their whirlwind moments.

With each storm, I have had to rest and regroup.

Some storms, I had to rebuild the old structures with new safety measures

Others, I had to build completely new structures, in new environments

 

The most important lesson  I have learnt is that despite the pain

Not everything is replaceable

Not every bad situation is a sign to run away

If it once bought you love, happiness and peace

Sometimes, you need to think twice

So cry if you must

Then Rest, Regroup, Re-evaluate

And Rebuild as you see fit.

 

 

 

Both sides of the fence… I have been there!

You would have expected me to know better

And I do

Its been about ten years

She emotionally entered the walls of what I thought was a happy home

The pain, the turmoil, the fear now a distant memory

I remember feeling so inadequate and wondering where would I go from there

He has the only man I ever loved

We went through everything together

This had to be home

But it wasn’t…

Its been almost a year since I found out about her- them

I remember his apologizes

He even called her up so I could hear him end it

But it never did

I hated her for wrecking my home

I hated him for indulging

But after awhile I got tired of the hurt

I got tired of the pain and I got over crying

Deep breath ….

I found comfort in the arms of an amazing man

I fell in love with his mind, his compassion

We could relate to each other

He seemed to understand

I couldn’t wait to see him in the morning

I couldn’t wait for our evening strolls

I no longer cared about the infamous mistress

I was in love with him

But my mind gave me a beaten

It felt so right but It also felt so wrong

Was I just a broken heart on the rebound

Or silly as hell – in love with a married man?

I got so much attention from him

I was now comfortable

You couldn’t tell I wasn’t his wife

We were out and about everyday

I was now happy my relationship was slowly meeting its demised

Everything was good until she called my phone

I had tried so hard to blot her out

The love I felt for him and the time spent

Was enough to blind me to the harsh reality

Legally she was still his wife

I lied and said we were just friends

After all, we never had sex

But emotionally I was sure

He was mine and I was completely his

He told his wife “he was in love with me”

I could feel her pain by the third phone call

As she pleaded for me to walk away

It was in that moment I learned

An emotionally affair is much more serious than sexual rendezvous

I encouraged him to stay

To work things out for the sake of their child

With a broken heart I encouraged him to do whatever it took to make it work

And I walked away from both

But now he’s back

A decade later…..

Saying I’m the only one he loves….